Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.
listen, son. your dumb night light just makes it easier for the monsters to find you
asexual? no you misheard me, i’m 'eh?'sexual, i’m only attracted to canadians
it looks like a judgmental shoelace.
"hiiiissssssssssssssssssssssss shirt looks stupid"
how cool would it be if someone knock on your door and instead of being an annoying neighbor or anyone else you open the door and see:
I would be very concerned and want to know what in my area is trying to kill me
Little Derek has some questions
this fucked me up
I WANT A TRUE HORROR MOVIE WHERE ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE INTELLIGENT AND DO ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND TAKE ALL THE PROPER PRECAUTIONS BUT STILL WIND UP GETTING KILLED BY THE ANTAGONIST
NOTHING IS SCARIER THAN DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN IN VAIN AND STARING IN THE FACE OF FUTILITY
(plus I would like not to yell at the characters for being dumb for once)
yo good luck beating this in 2015
Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant
can a ghost and a zombie come from the same person
Is this a comic? This should be a comic.
"no stupid, oh my god. no just… just turn… fuck. don’t wander over there, you’re gonna fall down the… aaand there he goes………….. moron.”
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most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person
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